Lascaux
by Edwin Fagel
Translated from the Dutch by Claudette Sherlock
de profundis
now it’s there
now it’s dark
and now the dark
turns a deeper dark
deeper than this
the dark does not
turn
now come
so deep
to union
so deep
in your barren womb
the seed is planted
from which
the light
is born
she light dreamer
dreamed light
breathing out the light
in the dark
your silence
in the murmuring
you say you
don't know me you say
you don't know me
you say you don't know
me
and then shall
from you
the light
imitation of an imitation
for the water lilies
imitate
the welkin the
water lilies the
willow trees
imitate
the
willow trees stringing
from the water
the leaves on the poplar trees
imitate the imitation of
the leaves on the poplar trees
longing you say
is
the longing to be
a longing for
the longing
before the longing
opened the longing
to be
the other
a longing for
what the other
is longing for
is an imitation
of an imitation of
what it is
wishes
& wishes to be
and so the red of the rose is as red
as the setting sun
as if the rose is the sun is the rose
dissolve
in the mirror I saw
my torso transparent
the intestines the liver the spleen
creation must be
seized
eaten
excreted
erased
my face/my face
turned red I said
I will do anything
to dissolve the divide between me
& the monster that is like me
is pure & all-seeing
yet I did no more than that
I looked at myself
till it lit somewhere
I heard something had some vague thoughts of something
to eat of my bank balance of sex & of that god-
send that I hoped was sleep
chaser
I dream
that I
dream
that I’m breathing
the moon is between the sun and the earth
a tea light burns
near the mirror
& in the mirror burns
your body
& if I for instance
& if I for instance follow
your image for instance
stand facing you & catch you
for instance
in the mirror you gasp
in the dark I gaze
into black eyes
in the mirror
I grasp you
you stand and wash
I spy on you
I stand on hooves
amongst the dogs
the moon compares
as an uneven triangle
to the earth
is dark
& the sun
& the sun
burns
bacchante
waiting at the stoplight
the top of Your saddle
pokes Your left buttock
when You recognise me
You move Your body
as if asking me a question
You seem to be in thoughts
elsewhere
dancing
with the ghosts of the fathers
of the fathers of the fathers
there
following
Your horned shadow
with a torch in my hand
I run through the corridors
trying to catch You
but Your eyes are black
& Your blood & Your skin
are black & black
is Your tongue
& black Your teeth
confession
that I speak to You means
must mean
that I believe in You
believe that I believe
that I eh
Your eyes I know
I say I
know Your smile
I shout & scream
across the even plain
I see Your
birthing burst
in light You have
given me
the light my body
given me
my veins my breath
professed me blessed
You wondrous You see Your me?
now I am open
now I am open
now I am wide open
come
shaft
on black walls You arise
on black walls You arise
on human feet
on human feet
we have been as one
we have
all
along
since it started
since we started
since we
started
in the deep shaft
in the black soil
started to
to find one another
all along
we have been lying down facing one another
all along lying down
making one another
making one another die
I
I see You
I see You come to be human
You
You see me
You see me come to be human
queen
You lie tied & blindfolded
& all the men are chanting
sanctus sanctus
they all share the same name
& all walk as I do
chanting by Your bedside
& they all chant sanctus
I stab my knife
I stab my knife in the skin of Your side
(a finger in the wound)
then all the men pounce
on Your shivering body singing
and tear open Your flesh
Your lips rest
in a blissful smile
we sing sanctus
& we are fulfilled
& we are contented
landscape with ladder & dog
a dog
starts
wagging its tail
in the space it is in
& the tree trunk near the dog
is a ladder
burning clouds
burning at the ends
are drifting past as a
fast paced film
the sloping
smiling
he bared open
grasslands
in the furrows of the plough
shiver & She
She is in truth
the crucified one