"if I am not being killed..."

by Iryna Shuvalova

translated from the Ukrainian by Virlana Tkacz and Wanda Phipps

if I am not being killed
do I have the right 
to talk with those who are being killed
as an equal

do I have the right to hurt
if I’m not wounded
or complain
if I haven’t suffered losses

do I have the right 
to sleepless nights
if sirens 
do not wail here

now death’s proximity
lies on the table between us
like a loaf of bread
with a knife baked into it

if I am not being killed
what can I say 
to those 
who are 

whose language has been cracked open by death
so it no longer resembles itself
now –
we no longer speak
the same language

so
if I am not being killed
do I have the right
to want to hold you
as tightly as
I used to before

when neither of us were being killed.